If You Stay by Courtney Cole

If You Stay

The Author's note at the end of the book sums it.

This story is really about a man teetering on the edge. He could have fallen either way, into the dark or into the light. And he chose to land on his feet in the light, even though the light is harder and it takes more work. My message through this book is for anyone who is in that same place, balancing on that precarious ledge. The light is always worth it, even though it's hard. Stay strong and live in the light.

The message was so loud and clear. What I like most about this book is that these two characters talk. Yes. They talk. They communicate. He might have some trouble because he never has to try to be nice. But now he does. He's trying. And he's working hard on it. He's a bad ass and the first lines of the story proves it.

"Pax."
I can't be sure that the girl said my name. Her voice is muffled and unintelligible and hard to understand, mostly because my dick is in her mouth.
Slumping against the black leather seat of my car, I push the girl's head down further, wordlessly urging her to bury more of me in her throat.
"Don't talk," I tell her. "Just suck."

(Parts of) Book Description:

Pax Tate's a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.
But he’s got his reasons.

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work. His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect façade.
So he slipped far, far from it.

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right?
Wrong.

And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila.

Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he'd better figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.

**Please note: If You Stay contains mature subject matter such as drug use and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences.**